I am here at Horizon Village, because I have a disease of alcoholism and crack cocaine addiction.

        This is not a fun disease to try and cure. I have drunk since I was young, my parents were alcoholics and my brothers are some what attached to this disease.

        There are so many emotions and feelings that you go through, you never believe that you’ll make it without your so called best friends, alcohol and crack cocaine.

        I have been to other facilities and they were good, or so it seemed when I was there, which they actually were, but I’m told I just didn’t want the help but I beg to differ. I think I wanted it, I just got too weak and vulnerable and I let the devil tell me what game and how I play it.

        Now I am here at Horizon Village and I am praying to GOD, in hopes and willingness that I will do this, this time. I don’t want to feel the hurt and pain any more.

I have a beautiful daughter and grandson. I’d love to watch them grow, I love them so much. I also have a boyfriend and his daughter that are great.

        There are so many people from church and around that I never knew could and would care about someone like me, but it’s true, caring people don’t discriminate.

        With this I want to thank GOD, my family, my friends and the counselors here today for taking the time to learn about and help my disease.

Thank You.

                        -Rhonda

For the third time in my life;

When I first crawled through these doors;

I was a mom, waitress and wife.

The others who reside here;

Have lived part of their lives in hell;

Not many care to understand;

Addicts sentenced to our own prison cell.

GOD gave us this gift of people who care;

Horizon Village is our home away from home;

Where therapy breaks us down until we’re bare

A community where we’re never alone.

There are black people, white people- women and men

Some sent by the courts for a while…

Janitors, adult babysitter, nurses and cooks;

Most of all our counselors going many an extra mile.

We come in robber, liars and thieves;

With nothing and no one left to believe in…

Weighing not much more than 100lbs;

Doing more drugs we found no relief in.

They promise me I’m worth the pain;

That this work surely brings;

For this will be the toughest job;

More than that of mortal kings!

They taught me how to dig deep down inside-

Through sharing my feelings with truth;

Many fears I’m facing with courage and tears;

Tearing off masks I thought I could hide.

This community is full of miracles;

My Gods angels are busy here;

For those who dare to start school again-

It’s off to college and a new career!

Strong women are helping women share:

Hard won knowledge, strength and hope;

Planned parent hood and even Red Cross come-

Teach us the many risks of doing dope.

Horizon is unexplainably beauteous;

Here is my God’s art on display;

His grass is carpet for our feet…

Growing toward heaven everyday!

A great loss.

By Donna, The Resource Training Center

His name was Peter. He wasn’t famous, didn’t sing, wasn’t wealthy, didn’t dance, didn’t have a large family and he definitely didn’t live in Never. He was a student in our day program in the Manhattan school. He was almost ready to graduate the 350-hour program. Peter was a wonderful person and a smart man with a heart of gold. He not only suffered from addiction he suffered inside he told me so. Now he’s dead. He was found alone, and blue! There was no one there to help him or anyone there to hold his hand. So what was the similarity between him and Michael Jackson? Addiction! Peter’s drugs were OxyContin and Heroin. He was found with 80 OxyContin and 40 bags of heroin. We ask ourselves “Why didn’t you call your friends?” “Why didn’t you call your sponsor?” “Why didn’t you call us?” Those questions will never be answered. Everyone now is questioning themselves why didn’t he just reach out to someone? It’s easy to try and wonder why. But it is not easy to lose a friend. This field has lost a great potential CASAC-T. Now he is in we hope he is in heaven and at peace. I remember when Peter walked into my office, 6 months ago with a Social Worker. He wanted the CASAC so bad. I wasn’t so sure that day. He was quiet and looked unsure. We observed him and followed his progress in the classroom. Peter came out of his shell and starting socializing with other students. He was very fond of Mary and they became best friends. They spoke daily and he seemed happy. So what happened? There are hundreds of rumors floating around. But who cares? All we know is that he is gone and it really hurts. Land. He was strange.” I stopped and thought a minute and said “No, he was an addict”. What makes him any different? Michael J. was an addict that everyone ignored and enabled, because he was famous. But it makes no difference because they are both dead. They both meant a lot to people. How vulnerable we are to this disease. Addicts don’t need excuses to get high. They just want to relieve the pain. Sounds simple right? There are times when I walk into the classroom and I see petty behavior and people not getting along and judging others it disgusts me. Our lives can be gone in a flash. Stop worrying about who comes in late, or leaves early, who is in a click, who has more or less than you, or who likes who. Who cares? There were people who judged Peter. Did it matter? He walked in his shoes. The point is that you never know what problems, and difficulties people have that are sitting next to you in the classroom. Chris Rock says: “People send their representative.” We really never know what’s in people lives. Just like our clients. So be patient with each other, let people speak, let people learn at their own pace. You are going to be counselors. You will have other lives in your hands. But get your own in order first. This field is the most wonderful in the world where you can you witness true miracles. Where can you take a person who destroyed their lives for 25 years and help them put it back together? What a gift. Don’t waste time on pettiness. Listen, learn and don’t feel you must comment and judge everyone. “He, who judges, doesn’t matter, and he who matters, doesn’t judge.” And remember, you don’t have to put out someone else’s light for yours to shine! Peter we love you rest in peace we will think of you daily and remember the live you lived in recovery. A life of friendship

I was at a meeting last week and someone said “I am so sick of hearing about Michael Jackson, love and the people you inspired… Peter you’re a CACAC-T in heaven. God Bless

Life is like a bus stop. We map out our route but linger briefly between adventures. Only I you can chart your itinerary – and hope GOD agrees with it.

Placidly amid the noise & haste remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter; for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

 Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection, neither be cynical of love; for in the face of all aridity disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of the spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here.

Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with GOD whoever you conceive him to be. Whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

I am not what I should be

I am not a fraction of what I deserve to be

I think; therefore I feel

I feel; therefore I need

I need so much and have so little

I seek; therefore I gather

I gather; therefore I grow

This, and only this is where the hole in my soul has been filled

So as, I felt and needed

I gathered and grew

I keep discovering a new sense of Hope

Myself!

is designed to help users define their drinking patterns and develop strategies and options for dealing with alcohol-related problems. The website utilizes an interactive form that allows users to enter daily and weekly drinking amounts to determine how their consumption compares with national averages. The site has a drink-size chart and a content calculator to aid in determining what comprises a “standard” drink. The new website is part of a broader effort to increase understanding of the array of alcohol-related disorders and redefine the way terms like “abuse” and “dependence” are used. Source: Join Together

Helen, she is real important to me because I am looking and hoping for her strength to stay sober. Her enthusiasm is great, she keeps me encouraged and believing that I can do this journey. She is helping me with rides to appointments and my passes. If it wasn’t for Helen, I would feel alone and wouldn’t be so motivated to accomplish my journey. Even though she is not an addict, she has another problem. She is my strength and notices how she is helping me. She is realizing that if you put your mind to it, ask God and work it out; it comes slowly but it comes.

Thank you very much Helen

I also appreciate the vocational program and I am eternally grateful to Kanchan for guiding me through the VESID process and helping me apply for school and for financial aid, a task I found especially daunting. I don’t know how many times Kanchan pointed out the pros and cons of every decision I made regarding my educational goals and really prompted me to think long-term. This shows me that she really cares about her clients and takes a personal interest in each individual.

My primary counselor, Iris is awesome! I have a deep sense of respect and admiration for her, which is rare, unfortunately. She somehow knew not to push me too hard (which causes me to shut down and naturally resist anything that even so much as looks like authority) but instead calmly pointed out and suggested things that caused me to think instead of rebel. She never put up with any of my crap and I knew better than to give her any. Iris is gentle, yet firm and that makes her an amazing counselor.

I want to thank Horizons Outpatient Services, Inc. for everything you guys have done, especially Iris and Kanchan. I would be eternally grateful if the director considered a pay raise for both ladies when their next evaluation is due, they deserve it, also Elizabeth, who facilitated the women’s group.

]]> http://www.horizon-health.org/blog/?feed=rss2&p=41 http://www.horizon-health.org/blog/?p=39 http://www.horizon-health.org/blog/?p=39#comments Mon, 16 Mar 2009 17:48:28 +0000 Anne http://www.horizon-health.org/blog/?p=39 “Evolution”

I used to drink because I thought I was sad.

Now I’m sad because I drink

~ Kenneth G.